No Business 100 Jamestown, TN #59

October 18, 1994 5-ish am, after 5 hrs. of natural labor with a lot of crying and throwing up, 9.10oz baby boy Dexter was born, my oldest son. He came into this world a sweet sensitive soul. He was a fussy baby who had trouble bonding with most people, but he and I had a tight bond from birth and throughout his life. He should be turning 29 this year and doing all the things a young father and Marine should be doing. I am grateful he is at peace but every year he is gone, is a reminder of how much life he did not have the chance to live. :(

Finding NB 100 to run back in 2019, the week of Dexter's birthday, was a saving grace during one of the tougher weeks of the year. A point-to-point looped remote mountain race, with more beauty that your eyes can possibly absorb and adventures galore, for me the last 5 years it's been the perfect way to celebrate Dexter's birthday. With my goal of reaching #60 for the Warrior 100 with Wear Blue on Oct 29, this race was the last obstacle after a summer of cranking out 100s. This is not a course you can just casually hope to finish, with 101 miles and a 33 hr cutoff over some steep terrain, technical miles, multiple river crossings, and various other challenges, I have had it in mind while training the last couple of months knowing I needed to be able to push up hills quickly and turn over my feet quickly on the runnable portions of the trails. Up until just days before the race I was still doing speed-work hoping to get the pace I needed to make it under the cutoff, its squeaky tight for me every year.

The Saturday before No Business we had the opportunity to participate in our local Out of Darkness suicide prevention walk, and Jason and I were asked to represent military families in their color bead ceremony. It was a good way to kick off a week of remembering.

My daughter Hannah was flying in with her two girls to celebrate Dexter's b-day with our annual Viking bonfire, Dexter's favorite way to celebrate, burning things and eating. We had a really fun night and an impressive fire with our homemade Viking effigy. It's a difficult day to face and having the girls home helped ease the sorrow. Picking flowers for Dexter with Ellie, melt my heart.

Hannah was also here to help crew No Business and I was so excited to have the chance to see her and my precious baby girls, Lucy and Ellie out on the course! After a long drive, nearly 10 hrs, a picnic lunch, & I-81 congested with elderly tourists out seeing autumn leaves, we arrived at packet pickup in time to sneak into the pre-race meeting, grab my bib and a spaghetti dinner and get to the hotel for a solid night's sleep.

A few days before the race a couple runners asked if they could run the course with me. I was totally fine with that and thought it could be fun but was also a little hesitant. I prize the miles alone at No Business because I always feel Dexter so close, and it's harder when you're distracted socializing with other runners, but I felt like he wouldn't want me to turn away a request for help, so I made sure the others knew we could run as long as our paces matched, but finishing the course both for Dexter and for my goal of #59 was the top priority.

We stayed in a cute little mom & pop motel about 30 min from the start line, making a long drive to some of the crewing places. Going to the hotel had a huge owl swoop low over us, it felt like a good luck message from Nate and I thought of Sally my friend, who struggles with grief as I do, with the changing of the seasons. We were supposed to get a day of rain on Friday, but miraculously all the rain came overnight Thursday night, by race start Friday morning the clouds rolled out, the air was crisp and cool and the autumn leaves were in peak color.

I wish I'd grabbed a picture of us together, my friend Andrew who I met at Froggy Mountain was at NB crewing his runner Samita (sp?) It was like seeing an old best friend. He helped me get up and going through a tough night back in July. He gave me a big hug and I saw him 2-3 times on the course and totally made my day. NB put on a fabulous breakfast buffet for runners pre-race, never had such good food! Biscuits & gravy, bacon & sausage, omelets, I opted for just a plate of hot hash browns. That and a big handful of Hershey kisses was my breakfast lol. I met up just before the start with Josh and Sheri hoping we would have a fun adventure together. Also found my friend Chip who I crossed the finish line with in 2020. Felt very comfortable and at home at the start this year, and pretty confident I could pull out a finish. We found out just before the start that there was a last minute course change. A major bridge crossing was closed for construction. We'd have an extra 1 mile to run as a detour to a shallow spot in a 75ft wide river that we would have to cross twice. I was kind-of excited, it sounded way more epic than just running across the bridge.

Not wanting to get stuck in a Conga line with a huge group of runners, I kept towards the back. The trail was pretty open early but we still had some backups, primarily just a couple miles in where we had to descend down a steep muddy slope, cross a river, and back up. So much for not getting trench-foot during this race, no rocks to jump across, wet feet began.

We had a few other crossings like this. I hoped the sunny day would allow my feet to dry out because I had no time for shoe and sock changes. It was a thrill of joy getting in the early miles. The weather was perfect, the soft trails runnable and comfortable, and the autumn colors spectacular. Around every corner was a beautiful sight and I could hardly stop thinking about how I couldn't ask for a more perfect morning run or smiling for the fun of being out on such a perfect day with Dexter and my Marines. Josh, Sheri and I stayed together pretty well for the first 8 miles or so, they were both moving strong on the flat sections. I was in front and concentrating on keeping my pace up and didn't notice they had fallen behind. I waited for several minutes at the next 2 aid stations to see if they were going to catch up, but knowing this course, if I wanted to finish, I couldn't afford to wait so sadly we didn't run together the rest of the race. I didn't want to carry extra water because the weight would slow me down through some of the longer sections, so I ended up making a couple river stops to cool off and fill up water from the river.

The first couple aid stations started out fantastic, hot food galore. I saw turkey and cheese sandwiches which I love so I grabbed several to carry with me. I didn't eat much of my own food this race because the aid stations were the best I have ever seen. They had sword on course as well, with Jason currently out of work I decided to go with the race electrolytes and save mine, they are fairly expensive, like $1-2 per serving so I figured I'd take advantage of that. It sat well in my stomach and didn't have a strong flavor, so it was easy to stay hydrated. Though it was cool out, I was sweating a lot. There was hardly any cell service out on the course so I wasn't sure when I'd see Jason and the girls, I knew for sure they'd be waiting at the Blue Heron aid station just after the first big river crossing which I hoped to reach in the daylight, mile 33-ish.

Look close to see the tiny runner, the course has an uncountable number of these huge cavern overhangs. Spectacular.

I don't recall much from the early miles except steady progress, loving every mile, not able to wipe the smile off my face because it was such a beautiful day to be running. Listening to music, pushing through some of the really technical portions of the lowlands, rolling climbs and descents, running most everything I could. Every aid station was packed with choices of several hot foods so I had something of my favorite at every one. Hot dog & hamburger, pizza, hashbrowns and potatoes, bacon etc. Was super excited to reach the 20 mile aid station because a new lovely Christian friend of mine, Cecy that I met briefly at Buckeye 100 was there waiting for me with her cute little son. We hit it off after our brief meeting (she was running the 200 miler, yikes) She is a beautiful lady and mom and just shines. She helped me fill my bottles and grabbed a pic, and I know she was praying for me and supporting me all the way through the race. That was a big happy highlight of the early miles.

I ran into several people on the course I'd met and talked to at other races. It's always heartwarming when I hear a "is that Rosie?" from behind. For being a total introvert, it always kind of amazes me how many friends and wonderful people I've met out on the trail. Always special! At one point during the day, I chatted to a guy who recognized me from this really nice YouTube video Wear Blue did about my story. He was like- hey I saw your video! He thanked me for being out running for veteran suicide awareness. That was pretty cool! <3 Warrior 100 - Rosie Gagnon Remembers James Dexter Morris - YouTube Met a Marine named Will out running his first 100 in memory of a friend KIA. We shared a few miles and I did my worst face plant talking to him instead of focusing on the trail, haha. I saw him late in the race ahead of me moving strong so hopefully he finished!

Had some strong impressions of company when I was alone throughout the day.

Well eventually feeling strong and staying an hour ahead of cutoffs I reached the closed bridge in late afternoon. The “mile” detour course change ended up being a beastly 1.5 mile climb up rugged, technical, rocky terrain, steep and slow, also with ladders & stairs to climb! I looked at my bracelet "I can do all things through Christ" as I pushed through what ended up being the hardest mile on the course. Followed by an equally difficult descent. It completely ate up my hour buffer of time, so I knew I was going to be chasing cutoffs the rest of the race. Luckily, we were given an extra 30 minutes (should have been an hour!) to the final cutoff to make up for the course change. The river crossing was slow but fun and as I came out of the woods to cross, I could see the family waving on the other side of the river, and hear little Ellie calling out “Grandma Rosie!” Melted my heart! So special to see them and so motivating! Waiting on official race pics but my family got some great shots of the crossing. It only got about knee deep but it was a little swift and totally cool to cross.

Ellie was born on Dexter's 2 yr angelversary, to the hour of his death. She is super special to me, a little message of love from Heavenly Father. And she fits right into our family love and spirit with her slightly warped sense of humor, even at 3 yrs. old, lol and her crazy sense of adventure. Lucy is still mammas girl and eyes us all suspiciously ha-ha, she reminds me of how Dexter was at that age. He always only wanted mom and if strangers talked to him, he would start screaming. But she's warmed up to us! <3

The Blue heron loop is about 7 miles long, with some steep climbs, ladders, and technical ground but also a lot of runnable trail. I was going pretty slow by this point, so Jason joined me to help me keep my pace steady for the loop. Hannah was a trooper, hanging out with a toddler and 3yo for 2-3 hrs so her Dad he could be with me. It got dark as we were on this loop, and we had to pull out the headlamps. We made fairly good time and passed quite a few runners, listened to some good music. It was awesome to have the time together. It was dark when we finished the loop, and I refueled at the car and got my coat and some night stuff and got to see Hannah and the girls one last time that night. I would be alone all the rest of the night. The aid station had some awesome fresh hot crispy pizza that was sooo good. I had to detour out to the parking lot so Jason and I got irritable at each other, mostly because I didn't want to waste a second and was stressed about finding the car and getting everything I needed, but, he got me going and walked me back to the river where I made a night crossing, getting my feet wet again, and had a long laborious climb back up the steep, muddy, rubbly mountain detour. Losing a few more minutes off the clock. I got really irritated at someones pacer along this point. She kept getting in front of me, then slowing down for her runner who couldn't catch up to me. I tried to overcome my irritation by making conversation and being friendly, but she had none of that. Anything I said was met with icy silence. It was a drag on my mental state so I pushed hard to leave the two of them behind. We had a few encounters like that overnight and every time I tried to say something encouraging I was met with silence. I decided she might just be actually deaf haha so I contemplated using some sign language lol, I finally was relieved when I left them far enough behind that I didn't run into them again. I don't know if they finished. Usually overnight I love other ultrarunners because we are all suffering by this point, miserable, tripping, trying to stay awake and moving forward in good time and usually there is a lot of encouragement, pairing up and cheering each other on. I did have some more encouraging runners, a lady named Susan was hard core steady the whole race and always had encouraging words to say. <3 For some reason I was plagued with all kinds of issues overnight. I hadn't taken time to change my socks and after the multiple water crossings could feel trench foot setting in and blisters forming on the bottom of my feet. I'd stubbed my only 2 toenails left so they had blisters underneath and were throbbing. After some long descents my hydration was off. I'd had a UTI in the week leading up to the race so my bladder was irritated, and I was having to stop & pee constantly. My knee started swelling and hurting and giving me trouble. I started chafing a lot which normally doesn't happen. I was stopping nearly every mile the second half of the race to pee. The frequent stops kept my knee and quad muscles stretched so it was probably a bad/good tradeoff, ha-ha. Happily, my stomach felt good all night, so I enjoyed hot freshly grilled steak, thick homemade chicken soup loaded with creamy sauce and chonky noodles, warm potato chowder, fresh grilled cheese and other delicious food. So impressed to have the hot fresh food being towards the back of the pack. Very often us back of pack runners get cold or burnt leftovers. No Business volunteers went above and beyond taking care of us. The night was dark and cold, almost cold enough for a coat. I wore gloves and hat but opted against wearing my coat, to force myself to move forward fast enough to stay warm. I kept it tied around my waist though, just in case I started to shiver. It was a relief when the sun came up and I was super happy that my black diamond storm 500 & ultra-spire waist lamp lasted all the way through a long autumn night. My feet were feeling shredded by morning, and I wanted to meet Jason to switch out my knee brace for a compression sleeve to control the knee swelling. There was no crewing till early afternoon, so I just tried to keep moving forward trying to not think about how much I was starting to hurt.

With the remote nature of the course, the mileage on my watch was tracking poorly. Sometimes it had me 8 miles off the actual distance, sometimes 2 or 3. After being up all night it was harder to mentally focus and figure out exactly what mile and aid station I was at. I met Jason finally at what I thought was mile 80. There he helped me get my shoes and socks off to see my feet were a total trench-foot disaster. I popped multiple blisters and rubbed cream all over my feet and put on dry socks. I also got on a compression sleeve in hopes it would reduce knee swelling and pain. This aid station had hot spaghetti, which is something I looove late in a race, it was delicious! After having some arthritis cream rubbed into the legs, I felt pretty good heading back out and looked forward to seeing the girls and Hannah in a few more stops.

As the day wore on I was exhausted and ready to be done and slowed down a little, feeling relieved I was an hour above the cutoff so I wasn't under a huge amount of pressure. After I ran about 5 miles and got to the next aid station, I realized I'd miscalculated my mileage and I had actually just reached mile 81, with 20+ to go. I called Jason in tears. I was so worried, that mistake ate up my hour time buffer and I cried telling him I was going to have to push as hard as I could to the end, and I didn't know if I could do it. I was so discouraged I left that aid station for another 8 mile stretch with no liquid or food. The day started getting warmer than expected climbing up to around 70 degrees, and I think all us runners together on this stretch were in various stages of discouragement and pain caves. Of course, this stretch led through what felt like dozens of river caverns, with very technical terrain & it dragged on for so long! It was a thrill though to run through the twin arches. Always feels kind of like a sacred spot and I take time to pray and thank Heavenly Father for the gift of running and being out on the course. I occasionally looked at my wrist and prayed the Lord would help me find energy and strength to keep pushing. I felt almost an encouragement push from behind as my angels kept me going.

I finally saw Jason and had made it to the aid station but without hydration or fuel, I had to stop and throw up, and gather myself together so I didn't scare the girls lol.

I sat down finally at this aid station for the first time in the race. I don't remember what self-care happened. I think I drank some ginger-ale. It was fun to sit with the girls for a minute and regroup for the final stretch. The clock was counting down but I needed it.

Jason & Ellie walking a half mile to reach me at the aid station.

Love my Hannah girl!

Lucy shaking the cowbell <3

We were down to the last 7 miles, and I was so happy and relieved when Jason said he was going to go out and finish with me. I was sooo tempted to walk it in, but Jason kept me moving at a slow jog and we kept kind of close to other runners along the last stretch. I tried to keep my mind focused on getting my double buckle and #59 done, not that I had at least 2 hours left to go. Not making it to the finish wasn't an option. The trails were pretty easy here and the forest was stunningly beautiful with turquoise skies, white clouds and the woods practically on fire with the brilliant reds, oranges and yellows of autumn.

We finally spilled out onto a 4 mile gravel road that was quite painful on the feet, and with relief after Jason listened to me whine about the rocks for awhile, finally crossed into Pickett State Park for the finish line. Ellie ran out to greet me as I got near, and I crossed in 33:05, 25 minutes to spare. Ended up taking me an hour longer than I projected and hoped for but that's okay, I finished! The RD and his wife remembering me from past races gave me some big hugs and my double -double finish buckle. That was so exciting and such a relief, so happy I made it and would go on next week to run Warrior 100 as my #60 with Wear Blue in Washington DC.

Most of the trenchfoot cleared up after the sock change, thankfully!

Over the weekend Marine Corps Times published a very nice article about mine and Dexter's story, I was really appreciative of the journalist who did such an excellent job. It was really special to read after the race. Mom of Marine veteran who died by suicide is running 100 100-mile runs (marinecorpstimes.com)

I felt a lot of joy out on the trail with this race, but my heart always carrying a prayer and love and mourning for the brave heroes I'm running for. Jacob, Jake, Dexter, Taylor, Nate, Morgan, Taylor, and for their families. I'm so grateful to have the health and strength and healing I need to continue to carry them on these miles, hoping their lives and sacrifice will make a difference to others as I try to be their feet and legs and living memorial. I'm looking so forward to running the Marine Corps marathon / Warrior 100 with my heroes this weekend and hope to do them proud in the mass of people honoring the USMC, as we raise awareness for military and veteran suicide. I'm grateful for the opportunity to partner with Wear Blue for that, for all the effort they've made to help me give Dexter a national voice, if for one special weekend.

Happy Birthday in heaven Dexter. You are never forgotten! We love you so much!