These trials make us who we are, We're motivated by the scars that we're made of"
100 miles, 21-22K vertical gain, 32-hour time limit.
I looked at this race a couple yrs ago and thought NOPE. Advertised at 16k + gain, that 32 hour cutoff looked too darn tight for me. I just sortof wrote it off and forgot about it. After finishing Grinedstone with my pacer & good bud Paul Tilley, when he offered to pace me if I came out to run the Beast, I just couldn't turn down the chance to run with him again. I knew it was going to be super tight but Id just finished no business in 32 1/2 hrs with a few extra miles thrown in over 100 so I thought I had a decent chance to maybe finish. I didnt want Paul to waste his time and $$ coming out to crew and pace me so as soon as I recovered from Whispering Grace and threw down my race fee, I cranked up the training. Fortunately I got in to see my ortho surgeon right after WG100 and he said my hip trouble wasn't a fracture or arthritis, just a weak psoas muscle I needed to stretch and strengthen, so I had 4 weeks to get it into shape. Also went to a Chiropractor and got him working on my back pinch and I was pretty well physically recovered by race day. I spent 90% of my traning miles through November either maxing out the climb on the elliptial (20 resistance/20 incline) and jogging at a 8-10 incline on the treadmill. I worked my pace up a little bit more every day and did 10% speedwork getting back down to a comfortable 9 min mile pace.
I felt really good by the time race day came around. I knew it was going to be a fight to make the climbs and the cutoffs, but it was the best training I'd done since July. There were some emotionally challenging days in November, Thanksgiving, decorating for Christmas, I struggled a lot with some heavy sadness missing Dexter and other kids no longer at home. It was a little bumpy but having this big race to train for helped keep me focused and getting out of bed every day to train. The last 2 weeks the pre-race email came out and said the elevation was actually 20K and I panicked a little but was putting hope in Paul who said a lot of the course was easy and runnable. This is a race stock photo of the 'easy' part of Crowders
I realized I might be looking at a DNF but told myself failure wasn't an option. The first 2 weeks of December were Sgt Jacob Grays and LCpl Jake Crewsons birthdays, so I really wanted to make sure I put in a good effort to honor them with these miles.
Last minute Peter decided to drive down to North Carolina with us. Super long drive cuz I was hydrating and that mean a lot of stops ha-ha. Before Thanksgiving I decided to take a break from eating keto and stuck to high protein, whole grains, fruits and veges. Was feeling pretty good and managed to drop a couple pounds. We splurged on a Cracker Barrel dinner the night before the race and I polished off 3 biscuits slathered in honey & hashbrowns, loading up on the carbs and with an 8am race start had time for a bagel with Nutella! Chatted a bit with Paul's friend Rich at the hotel who was gonna be running, then we headed out. Chilly morning in the 40s, the forecast didn't get much above 50 with a chance for rain. I really hoped that rain would hold off. Was super excited to see my friend Angie from running out at Ute, attempting her first 100. Crazy because I didn't hardly dare attempt this one as my 42nd, let alone my first! Shes got some guts!
The race had basically 2 out and backs from the start/finish, one approx. 3 miles long, the other about 11 each way for a 25 mile 'loop' The first 3 start out at a smooth easy rolling trail, until you hit a wall of boulders leading up to the summit of Crowder Mountain, where you climb what feels like almost hand over hand to reach a false summit, then stumble up a rocky trail until you actually hit the summit, spend some time rock hopping with heavy leaves and technical ground, run on some 'slick rock' type footing, descend a rocky trail...then have about 1.5 steep downhill on a gravel road that you can finally run. Its painfully slow and flat-out hard going over that mountain. Hit the aid station at the bottom of the hill, then go back up the long climb over Crowder Mountain, run down into the S/F aid station, then head out on the long out and back the other direction where you summit the "Pinnacle, a steep but non-technical trail till you hit a steep climb up stone stairs, do more bouldering on a technical trail at the peak of the mountain, descent a short rock face, down more stairs, then run through some technical rocky/leafy descent which turns into a fairly easy rolling trail with 2 solid climbs, passing through an uncrewed aid station halfway, hitting your crew at another aid station after a few more miles which you do a significant climb to reach, back downhill out to the turnaround at the South Carolina border, return back up the big hill to the Boulder Access aid station again, then head to long stretch with 2 big climbs back to the technical climb up to the Pinnacle (going up the steep ascent /stairs again!) after coming down its a solid smooth downhill back to the start finish line. All in all 16 climbs with 'bouldering' and probably 16 somewhat runnable/power hiking climbs. Thank goodness I had Paul who had previously run the race to do an overview of the course with me before we started or I probably would have been lost on some of those turns, they weren't exactly easy to figure out, also the flagging wasn't reflective so trying to stumble over rocks at night while looking for the trail was a challenge at some places. It was a bit complicated but just knowing there were 4 killer climbs each loop was enough to think about.
I was determined to run as much of this course as possible, I knew I had to in order to make the cutoff. I was able to run all but the steepest sections, though on paper the pace looks pretty slow, ha-ha. It was a lot of uphill jogging. The first 'loop' my knee picked up a bit of a catch on the downhills so I was a little worried over it and prayed a lot that it would kind of mellow out so I could keep running the downhills. After about 20 miles it thankfully disappeared. I owe a HUGE thanks to Jason, Peter and Paul for their crewing efforts. I didn't have time to dilly dally at the aid stations, Paul met me at every AS up to 25 miles, and Jason met me at all the rest. We had a set plan, basically they give me my electrolyte bottle filled and ready to go, have a couple Nesquik's open to quickly drink, and candy & apple juice ready to stash in my pockets. I tried to make each stop as quick as possible, I didn't intend to sit down at any point in the race, I did end up sitting down shortly for 4 x, but it was for legit reasons lol. I wasn't thrilled with the heavy gray skies, but the temperature climbed up to around 50 so I was able to ditch my jacket & hat for the daytime hours. I kept the gloves on to stay warm, protect my hands from any falls and to use to wipe my perpetually runny nose. :-P
Looking up at the Conga line on the first climb.
Right after that first climb was listening to my Dad's song "The impossible dream" and decided I needed to let my family know that I want those lyrics on my headstone when I die. <3
"To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow,
To run where the brave dare not go." :sniff: a teary mile thinking of Dad.
I really enjoyed this day. The first 20+ miles came pretty easy, and I felt like my training was on point. Had some great tunes playing and just jammed out running the downhills and lots of the uphill's, focused hard on getting through the technical brutal sections and climbs...carefully. It was pretty treacherous, so I didn't risk going fast on the summits. Views were incredible and after weeks of grief weariness I felt my heart light and joyful, like I could feel Dexter's happiness at the freedom of being out on an adventure together. 2 days before my race I was doing some organizing when my stack of Dexters letters from Parris Island, SC fell to the ground from the fireplace mantle. I sat and read through them all and cried and cried over his beautiful, kind, brave heart. One line from his letters went right to my heart and it helped me push through the miles. This was something we'd talked about, how neither of us were fast or strong but that we had a lot of endurance. It came to my heart frequently out there. Because his thoughts from Parris Island were so close to my heart, the turnaround with the wolf at the South Carolina border really meant alot to me. I looked forward to it every loop.
On my way back from the SC border my first loop a guy named Scott chatted with me, apparently, he was the guy at Grindstone who Paul and I passed puking on the side of the trail that we stopped and gave a Zofran to. Happily we said he was able to come back after that and finish the race at Grindstone. That just made my day. Karma, later on in the race this would come back as a gift to me! I was really glad I'd been doing a bunch of hip stretches and strengthening because trying to climb the bounders took some serious flexibility, made me wish I'd done some yoga, haha.
A fun running mile I had was when the song from the old Rankin and Bass Lord of the Rings cartoons came on my playlist, Adam got me to add it just before the race. "Where there's a whip, there's a way" I just laughed and sang as I tore down an easy flat hill. It was great. I felt like I had a moment with each of the guys I was running for, thoughts of their moms, children, families, prayers I needed to say, a "hug" of encouragement from my good friend Ben who passed from Covid last year. The sense of presence was just so real all day, like we were having a running party in the woods. It was hard to feel any kind of sadness, just love and friendship.
I dallied into a few seconds of video. I'm a goof but it's nice to hear those precious names.
No time to politely eat, I just shove an entire bag of candy into both cheeks and spend a mile or two trying to chew it down and swallow lol.
First loop I finished in about 7 hrs, which was exactly where I wanted to be. It was 3pm or so meeting Paul heading out for the second 25 miles, Jason and Peter were running a few minutes late so I just missed them, luckily met them on my way back because I needed my jacket, a dry hat, headlamp and batteries before dark. It was pushing sunset when I made it back to the Pinnacle on my second loop and had to turn lights on. It was so beautiful and serene looking down on the twinkling lights coming on in the valley from the peak. I'd upgraded my Petzel headlamp but with the pace I needed to go I had to run it on high, so I was burning through batteries every 2 hrs. or so. It made for a long night worrying about lights, I had to carry a spare lamp and spare batteries so I could keep changing them out. I slowed down in the dark so the second loop took 7 & 1/2 hours which I wasn't too thrilled about, I felt I was falling behind making the 32 hr. cutoff because I knew the second half was gonna be much slower going, but I also felt once I picked up Paul as my pacer at 50 miles that he would keep me going a solid pace. There was one uncrewed aid station with just these 2 guys hanging out all night long taking care of runners. They were the best. Hooked me up with a band aid when I started getting a blister on my ankle and they were cooking some kind of rotisserie chicken on a spit which later made the b.e.s.t chicken taco. Was the best thing I ate out there.
Pic @ like 50k
The night loop together with Paul was pretty rough. We met our friend Angie coming in for 50 miles, she'd gotten injured and sadly wasn't gonna be able to finish. My heart hurt for her, tough course. I had been drinking well all day but I felt like I'd maybe had too much to drink because I kept having to make pee stops, so I started drinking less, but I was still sweating, but it was cold out...so it kind of whacked out my hydration plan, I didn't really know how much I should be taking in at that point. Didn't know if I was over or under hydrated. I stopped drinking electrolytes and mostly stuck to Nesquik's and apple juice. I got down 1 thermos of chicken noodle soup, tried to drink another... wasn't working for me. I finally sat down at 65 + miles in the bathroom to see if that would help my stomach which had started to feel off, but not a successful attempt (lol) we got refilled at the aid station by Jason and headed back out.
Peter was so awesome, he was at every aid station helping all evening until late at night. He probably only missed 2, and he is so quick and efficient at getting me what I need. Hes such a great son!
I kind of wanted some food but all they had that sounded good were Chick Fil-A waffle fries at the aid station, but they were sadly cold. Had my second sit down which was a puke and rally. Had to sit on a log and put down my poles to empty the contents of my stomach, in the process vomited all over my shoes. But it worked its magic, and I was able to get moving forward solidly and a bit faster. The night felt so long but Paul kept encouraging me and we chatted a lot, and also just had some long quiet miles while I tried to push through the pain cave. Amazingly I really hadn't developed any blisters and while everything hurt, nothing really hurt terriblly, except my toes. I kept stubbing them and it hurt so much! Ended up with a big black toe with a huge blood blister underneath, blegh. @ 75 miles I finally sat down to take off my knee compression sleeves, they gave me a ton of support on the elevation drops but were leaving a painful bruise on my shin. Managed to drink a can of coke and we headed out for the last loop, not realizing I was really pushing the first big cutoff!
Going up the climb felt like murder, but we just took it a step at a time, Paul held my poles while I used my hands to pull myself up the rocky boulders. That was probably my only big cry moment. Was listening to Imagine Dragons "Shots" and just struggling to keep moving and I kind of lost it for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry for everything, oh, everything I've done From the second that I was born, it seems I had a loaded gun And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved
In the meantime, we let it go
At the roadside we used to know
We can let this drift away "
Benign view of Crowders climbing up the gravel road.
We had to run as fast as I could down the steep gravel road and made that cutoff by 15 minutes! I realized I hadn't picked up a charger, so I had to shut off the music and just run quietly, which is an energy drain for me. It was a close call! After that the sun was up so I felt a lot more confident going over the rough ground and didn't have to worry about headlamps anymore, so we made up some good time. I had a pretty clear thought that I was hydrated enough but needed more salt. I wished I had some salt, but I'd lost my only extra salt cap at some point in the race. Just as I had that thought, I looked down and there was my salt! You won't convince me that is coincidence. I know I had unseen help out there.
Paul spotted like 5 wild male Turkeys, and we started gobbling at them which was kind of hilarious & random. Usually when I hear birds its owls that feel like a visit from my friend Nate, so I laughed that he sent us Turkeys this time, and love to his sister Sally. <3
From 80-90 I had some decent energy, got my phone charger so got the tunes going again and I felt like I was being pushed by my Marines to suck up the pain and dig deep. I was at the moment the last runner out; Paul helped me push past 5 runners out to mile 90. There was a girl and her pacer who were insanely strong that we chased for most of that loop and finally passed them. They worked their butts off to catch up and sadly I hit a big fat wall, so she ended up getting her place in the race back. 2 other runners we overtook came back and passed me. I got super woozy and had to sit down to throw up. The two guys still behind us and their pacer stopped to help. I had some Zofran, but he had some that instantly dissolved that he offered so I took it and felt immediately better. We tailed them for a while but in the end passed them before the big climb up to pinnacle. Every.step. up that last mountain hurt. I just had no juice left in my legs and each step my heartrate would spike. We would take like 10 steps, stop and rest, 10 steps, stop & rest. I was praying hard for strength to get to the top. It was pretty miserable but step by step we made it.
I was SOOO happy taking the last step up that steep staircase, going over the top knowing it was all downhill to the finish, like so happy my eyes were kind of blinded with tears and I was just thanking God for helping me make that last summit. Paul held my hand for balance getting down off the last treacherous rock and we ran down the mountain to the finish. That was like, a total victory 3 miles, I couldn't believe that somehow, we managed to catch way up and were shooting for a 31-hour finish. One runner we'd passed a dozen miles before, a young guy running his first 100, came tearing up behind us whooping and hollering with joy at being so close to the finish. It was fantastic. What a comeback! We both agreed we'd never complain about being passed like that, just too happy for the guy!
As we started our last mile "Atlas Falls" started playing on my playlist...that song is such a tearjerker and has always brought me such a feeling of presence with my son, Paul and I were singing it at the top of our lungs, I had tears rolling down my face and I think Paul may have to. It was just such a beautiful moment of teamwork, solidarity, love, joy, accomplishment, I just really can't express how much it meant to me, but it felt like we had our whole team of angels with us and Paul's Dad, too. If there was ever something you could call a "sacred mile" that would be it. A memory I'll cherish forever. Hard to express how beautiful that was.
Gerald, Paul's father, lost to Covid last year. :( Remembering his birthday just 3 days before my race. <3
"Don't give up now There's already so much at stake If Atlas falls I'll rise up and carry us all the way It won't pull me down The weight of impossible days I'll stand tall I'll rise up and carry us all the way
Keep moving forward now,
Keep your head above the clouds,
I'm right with you, I will lift you
Just hold on"
So tired going up the last little incline to the finish line, so excited to see Peter come running out
with Jason. I felt so elated, and so relieved to be done, my heart bursting with Gratitude for these
3 guys who made my solid finish a reality. They put so much effort into meeting me at just about
every single aid station, so I could move forward as quickly as possible, and Paul, taking on 50
miles of this beastly course with no hope for the glory of a race, just to support me, gnarly gritty
hours where I was slow, complaining, sick, singing to stay alert, always encouraging and cheerful
and excited for the finish. I just can't find words that express my thanks to him for going into this
battle with me and helping me conquer the beast! I know one day Dexter's gonna meet him and
give him a big Ol hug for being there to support his mamma out fighting this battle against
suicide. His belief in me gave me the belief I needed in myself to finish this course.
Final time, 30:49
Wolf shirt & sweet buckle!
My heart was full this race thinking of Jenn and Brenda, moms of Jake and Jacob, who both
marked their sons' birthdays this month. The day you gave birth to your son never leaves you &
now having them forever out of reach in this physical world, it's a pain and sadness that is
unbearable. Somehow, you survive it because you have no other choice. I wanted
to finish these miles in tribute to their great mother's love, a love that reaches beyond the veil
between life and death and into the universe where their sons will know they are loved and
remembered. I can't wait for the day when I talk to Dexter again and he tells me his side of the
race experience, because I have no doubt he's always out there with me.
Nate Dogg, never forgotten
Chillin at the hotel after the race with Arbys. Throwing this pic in because my friends at "Point Unbroken" sent me this wonderful shirt with a pic of Dexter and I, and my favorite hashtags on the back, to remind me that Dexter was gonna see me through this race. It was a wonderful point of inspiration that I really appreciated. Shout out to them for being so awesome.
Thanks so much Steven for the kind words and offer to visit, and for the wonderful support! I am immensely humbled and proud of this race, a year ago this week I ran a slow 3 16 mile jog, wondering if I'd ever be able to run another 100 after surgery. This was just the perfect way to finish off a strong comeback year, turning weakness into some strength! ☺️ If you ever decide to go for a 100 you be sure to let me know, id love to try to come support you! Congratulations on your marathon!! I'd recommend finding a 50 mile race to train for, see how it feels being on your feet that long, that would…
Hey Rosie, what an amazing race -- I have to say it ... you are most definitely (and in a good way) ... a Beast! That was one tough race, and you crushed it with over an hour to spare! To finish as strong as you did, after all those climbs, I am so impressed.
You make me fantasize if I could ever run a 100-miler. I just finished the 50th Anniversary of the Honolulu Marathon a week ago, and it wasn't pretty. But we got it done ;-). I hadn't done any training, which has not been a problem on previous years, but this year it caught up to me. To read about your 4 week training regiment,…