Whispering Grace 100 #61 Nov 11, 2023, Massillon Ohio

"Remember them. When the fire begins to fade For the fallen and afraid We are not to let them die in vain.

Remember them"

My third time running this course. I didn't think I would run it again because I'd done it twice already and the 2.5-mile loops are sooo brain numbing, but because it was being held on Veterans Day, the horses at Whispering Grace were calling, so I jumped in. Last year on this minorly hilly course was really a struggle, I had some injuries, and the 80 degree temps in November beat me up. I was hoping I wouldn't have a repeat but Wed and Thurs before the race I was down with some bug and a slight fever. Luckily woke up Friday, our travel day, without a fever but I still felt pretty wiped out & Jason drove us out to Ohio.

During the week before the race, we'd done a zoom call with one of the Wear Blue staff about how to run a Circle of Remembrance, since we'd asked Eric the RD if we could do one before the race, being Veterans Day. I was a little nervous and not sure who would all want to participate but Jason said he'd help, and we'd do it together. It was great to get to the Whispering Grace Ranch for bib pickup and have a chance to talk to Jeremey & Eric (RD's) and some of our friends who were running the race. Especially happy to run into John Milburn and his wife Christine. We met last year running WG and he'd shared with me some of his combat/ptsd experience, it was so touching at the time and running into them is so special! He gave me a medallion he'd brought back from Iraq to thank me... while he is the Veteran who deserves all the thanks. Talk about humbling. He shared he would be carrying pics of some of his soldiers who had died in action and by suicide. I felt so moved that he'd be doing that on Veterans Day on our shared course and knew it would mean so much every time I saw he and his wife out running the 100 k together.

Well, we got back to the hotel pretty early and avoiding eating out since we're on a tight budget, I just ate some chips and a granola bar for dinner and tried to get to bed early. A little too early. At 2am I was wide awake and unable to fall back asleep, thinking about the CoR and the race. I dozed a bit off and on from 2-5 but finally just got up and dressed for the race.

We were there before 7 and a group of about 12 people joined us. We stood in the frosty cold morning around the firepit and talked about honoring the service and sacrifice of the American military, had a moment of silence, and then said the names of those KIA this Veterans Day weekend. Went around the circle again and a few shared the names of those they were thinking of or running for. It was really special and really heartbreaking, some trembling voices and tears over friends and loved ones lost. Bill, the ranch owner gave us a little word of prayer and then we just stood by and waited for the race to start. I gave John a big hug, learning more about his experience with soldier suicide that broke my heart and again feeling very touched and humbled by his gift to me. I had the medallion in my pocket for the entire 103 miles of the race.

It was super chilly, and I was eager to get going. It was a small field of runners doing various distances. We were a few minutes behind with the National Anthem and a prayer, but that was just fine with me. It's always great to run a race that honors God and country. <3

Well, not far out from the start line was the quick reminder of how not fun this course is, hah. Across the parking lot of gravel, onto the road, a quick turn onto a grassy field with cut but long frosty grass, across the perimeter of the field, past the stables and pens for some of the Whispering Grace horses, out onto the road for an out and back. The road has a descent slope to run up and then back down, turn around and do it again. A right turn back onto frosty grass and again around another horse pasture of long cut grass which includes a small but annoying hill, not steep enough to walk, just steep enough to get tired of running! Continuing around through the horse pens and back to the start line. Approx a 2.7-mile loop. We were going to have to run 40 loops, but everyone's watch was measuring extra distance so the RD's it cut down to 39 loops, which still came out for me at 103.1 miles.

Felt really good running in the chilly air, after the first loop the sun came up so I dropped my jacket, it looked like it was going to be a beautiful perfect day for running. Unfortunately, it clouded over and stayed just sort of grey and cold all day. I don't think it ever got out of the 40s. Another guy running the 100 was wearing a mask over his face and it reminded me that I needed to be doing the same or by overnight hours I would have ultra wheezing lung. So sadly, spent the day wearing a mask but I felt like my pace was pretty strong and consistent all day. After being sick my appetite was kind-of off. Nothing really looked good at the aid stations. After a slew of hot races, I didn't feel like choking down electrolytes, so I stuck to chocolate milk, salt tabs and water. At some grapes, apple juice and applesauce, that's kind-of all I had all day. Until they rolled out some little sausage pigs in blankets. So good! I ate a few handfuls of those and was sad when they ran out. They kept regular hot dogs going which usually works for me, but my stomach was being all Primadona pretty early on. I definitely wasn't taking in enough calories or fluid.

Because the weather was cool and no injuries I was making good time and thought I might possibly beat my course PR of 26:25, so though I had plenty of time to take pics of the beautiful farm, horses, trees, flags etc, I decided to not waste any time and just moved forward constantly. I'd visit a little at the aid station but mostly I'd just grab and go. I did grab a pic of the annoying little dog that pesters runners every year. Luckily it was cold enough the owners kept him inside for most of the race. There were several familiar faces running this race, James, Ron, and Dave who I met and ran with at Buckeye were just a few. I ended up talking to a couple different guys who I guess had stumbled on my blog and read my race reports about Whispering Grace, so that was pretty cool although it made me a little self conscious about writing, lol. One was a kid who came all the way down from Canada to run his first 100k as a senior in HS. He was super nice, Gavin... he was still out late at night struggling, so I'm assuming he finished. I hope he did!

It was kind of a relief as the sun started to set, the sky was beautiful and I was ready for a change of scenery...with night there is no scenery but at least it's not the mind-numbing rows of mailboxes, houses, grass and fences of the course, ha-ha. It started to get really cold. Luckily Jason met me close to sundown. I got in the car to stay warm and put on a thermal shirt, dry hat and my warmest winter coat. I thought maybe it'd be too warm with that coat but the sky cleared up so it ended up being a pretty chilly night. I also had a pair of hot hands in my mittens and down my shirt, brrr! Ate some bbq corn chips, yum!

got some decent miles done in the evening before my good friend Susan came out to run with me. She being the amazing person she is, brought me a fresh McDonald chicken sandwich. It was like 10pm or something and I was def hungry for some real food. The aid station had some soup n stuff but it just wasn't sitting right and I couldn't make myself eat much of what was there except for grapes. The sandwich did great though and really got me through a few hrs. I had a great time with Susan! She'd turned her ankle at a race earlier in the day so I didn't know if we'd be able to run together but she was just fast enough to keep me pushing a little and we made good time and had fun talking. We both saw a bright falling star which was very cool.

Sometime around I guess, 1am, Rachel my awesome friend, now dubbed the Taco Fairy, showed up in her warm pink coat and taco hat with a bag of taco bell tacos! Aaaa, an angel!!! I was hungry again, but nothing was looking good. The taco totally did it for me. Thank goodness for friends. I was already low on calories, without the fast food drops I would have prob been in worse shape Sunday morning. My floppy hat and face mask make me look like I'm in a Halloween costume as a doctor, lol. We couldn't really afford to eat out earlier, but on our drive to the race Jason gave a little cash he had in his wallet to an old scruffy man who was wandering around like he needed money. He happily said, "now I have enough to get something to eat at taco bell!" I was proud of him for being so kind, and karma paid me back with a taco. <3

Susan ran about half a marathon with me, and then my great friend Adam who pushed me for a course PR at Buckeye, came out to run with me from 2am to the finish! Despite the fact he'd just sprained his ankle at the same race Susan was running and had hurt her ankle. Crazy people! It was sooo nice though, it didn't seem to slow him down much, he had tons of pep in his step and tried to keep me moving at a decent pace.

Running this course is kind of a mini study in human behavior. On the out and back you pass other runners in the race multiple times, some more than others depending on pace. Its interesting to see who is friendly even though you've seen them 40-50-60x and who just looks straight ahead not acknowledging your existence on the course. Especially as the day and then the night wears on and people are in their dark places and pain caves, I truly love everyone who made an effort to at least wave or say good job or give a thumbs up. You're kind of at this deeper level of human struggle out on long miles like this, and I think it shows a huge quality of person and depth of character to those who still reach out and acknowledge another human being in their suffering. I want to be that person. Maybe its annoying as heck to the other runners but I'd rather reach for contact that simply ignore a person.

At some point in the early hours before dawn I got really sleepy and was kind-of weaving all over the road and on the grass, having a hard time staying awake or focusing. I had Jason come out and bring my poles just to get me through the dark hours. I had to hold onto Adam to keep on the grass path until I could get some caffeine down and my poles in hand for a loop or two until I snapped out of the sleepies.

Adam got some beautiful pics at dawn!

The frost had come in so hard that our shoes and coats had a layer of frost, or were wet from melting frost and our body heat. There was thick frost on the grass which was really beautiful and very cold. We never wasted time to stop, keep moving forward to stay warm. I was resorting to drinking coke and ginger-ale through the rest of the night, just half a can per loop or so. I got mildly dehydrated even though I wasn't really sweating much, the sodas were freezing cold and it was hard to get down the fluid I should have been taking in. Big thanks to Adam for taking lots of pics of the heavy frost and beautiful morning.

That frost on the hat!

My knees were both hurting a lot and got quite nauseous the last couple hrs. Adam kept egging me on so I could beat my course PR, and despite having to stop & vomit once and take off my knee brace to throw some arthritis cream on my knees, we hit 100 miles at 26 hrs 10 min, beating my time by 15 minutes.

The course was 3 miles longer this year so I didn't actually finish the race until 26:59. Adam made me push hard the last loop. I finally walked a hill or two and threw up again, but we made it under 27 hrs. Pretty happy about that, distance varying, was 3-4 hrs faster than last year.

Had to lay down on a picnic bench and settle my stomach right away, took me a few minutes to recover enough to sit up and chat. So happy to have finished in a good time.

I always need a moment to just close my eyes and die for a minute, and then pray!

After I got my buckle one guy bundled me up in a blanket and I sat in front of the fire warming up. After a few minutes, one of the cowboys working at the ranch, a veteran, who had been in our circle of remembrance the morning before came and sat down by me. He looked me in the eye and said, “Tell me, why do you do -what you do?” Well, my emotions running, high, I told him how Dexter had died by suicide, and how dark and hard it was to survive and find the will to live, and how running kept me going and kept me alive, and how Dexter had prompted me after awhile to start running for others so that maybe we could help someone else. It was just kindof a long emotional spill, but then he told me he understood because his Dad who was a veteran, had died by suicide also. When he said that his eyes filled with tears and I hugged him. I could feel the sobs shaking his body. We hugged for a few moments. I just remember saying I was so sorry and that I know it is so hard. He gathered his composure and thanked me and walked away and I just sat there feeling grateful and sad and just overwhelmed because it was clear to me that he was the guy I needed to be there for on that day. I hope and pray seeing a survival story will help him find his courage to survive the traumatic loss and pain of his father's suicide. I'm so grateful I could be there so that he could share his pain. Having a safe person to share that kind of pain with is tremendously healing. I will be praying for him.

After that, I was exhausted and drained, Jason got me back to the hotel where I slept all day. Woke up for McDonald chicken sandwich for dinner, than slept all night. Jason drove us home Monday morning and I slept some of the way on a mattress in back, and most of Monday into Tuesday! I shouldn't have been quite so exhausted but I think having been sick just before the race, it had all done me in. I have a solid 2 ½ weeks before my next race, Devil Dog 100 in Prince William , Virginia.

I was grateful to carry Dexter, Taylor, Jacob, Jake and Morgan this Veterans Day and spent time in the many hours I had alone reflecting on their lives, and deaths and prayers for their families. My thanks to all who have served, whose service and sacrifice have given me the freedoms I enjoy every day, to live the life I want to live and to pursue my goals and dreams. In a world filled with conflict, you are reminder what a gift it is to live in peace.