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Tuscazoar, 50 miles completed

Writer's picture: Rosie Nanette GagnonRosie Nanette Gagnon

Well, I wasn't going to blog about this race, but I suppose as I'm keeping a record of my journey to 100 100s, I need to include the bad times and failures. After I ran in Colorado my knee was pretty swollen and in the 4 weeks between these 2 races, the swelling never fully went away. My Doctor put in an authorization for an MRI but they still hadn't scheduled me for an appointment to check out my knee as this 100 miler was approaching. The more logical part of my brain said I should pull out, but since I was able to jog a slow 14 minute mile, I thought I'd just go out and give it my best and hope it would hold up, figuring it had an extra 4 weeks of healing on it. This race and all the staff mean SO much to me. They care so much about their runners and they feel like family. It was my first year at this race, #5, when I decided to start running for veteran suicide awareness and I knew I had to at least give it my best shot. The Tuscazoar guys had their massage therapist at packet pickup so I had him check it out. He said it seemed pretty strong and he put me in inflatable boots to try and get rid of the swelling. It did a fairly good job but even at the start of the race I could feel the tweak, like the swelling was throwing things out of alignment.

At first everything felt pretty good, I made it through the first 25 miles with only a little discomfort and with plenty of time to pull out a finish. The course overall was easier for me this year. I've been hitting elevation training pretty hard so even the worst hills didn't feel all that bad, and if I was at 100% I would have even enjoyed the climbs, however, its fairly technical and rocky and that terrain turned my knee enough that I just aggravated it. I was moving strong on the flats and the climbs but I think the downhill sections really did the number. The second loop I started rubbing in pain cream to hopefully keep pushing through, but around mile 46 I got a fairly sharp pain, and it didn't go away. I went from 17-18 min trail miles to 30 minute trail miles trying to hike back to the start/finish. I wanted to push through one more loop to get to 100k at least, but I knew it would be incredibly stupid of me, especially with rain moving in and the ground turning to mud. I'd risk slipping and doing even more damage. I considered taking a percocet that my Dr had given me, but I knew I'd just be masking injury and making it worse. I cried a lot the last 2 miles. I always feel somehow like I've let people down when I cant finish, especially the Marines I'm running for and Dexter. I got the most comforting feeling, a reminder that they know things get too hard sometimes, and that its okay to know when to quit. Jason was relieved I'd decided to drop at the 50 mile mark because he saw how slow I was going and knew my knee was probably bad and that he would have to be pretty forceful to keep me from going back out. I did get a pretty cool consolation prize and I feel grateful that I had the ability to at least cover 50 miles on a tough trail course.

I had some really wonderful moments running the beautiful day with my heroes, and I made some new friends. On one section of trail I met a woman who asked me about the men I was running for. She had just lost her love to suicide. We hugged and cried and talked about suicide, how we wish we'd recognized the signs, how hard the grief is, the 'if onlys' and how we can run and honor them and the lives they lived. Those few minutes together made it worth the effort of coming out to Ohio, if just to share a moment with another suicide survivor. That to me is ultimately more important than the finish itself.

In addition to running for Sgt Taylor Wilson, Sgt Jacob Gray and Dexter, I also carried the picture of the 13 service personnel who lost their lives in Afghanistan in the awfully done withdrawal of forces. :( So many lost their lives in that 20 year war. The people there had a taste of freedom that I hope they never forget because it came at a high price, both with soldiers lost in battle and at home. On my way to this race I was asked to speak at an Out of Darkness suicide awareness event in October locally. I feel grateful my running has led me to a place where I can connect with other survivors on this difficult journey of loss. This 50 miles was a humbling blow but just a temporary setback. I have several more races planned for the rest of this year so hopefully I'll get the knee injury figured out and fixed.
















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Steven Crisp
Steven Crisp
06 de set. de 2021

Just remember, Rosie, your so-called failures are another person's fantasies . 50 miles on a bum knee, for such an honorable cause. I'd call it pretty darn amazing 🙏🏻❤️

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Rosie Nanette Gagnon
Rosie Nanette Gagnon
07 de set. de 2021
Respondendo a

Thanks so much Steven! After feeling sorry for myself I had a gut check, that I needed to be grateful to have the health to even run 50 miles. It is a blessing I definitely have taken for granted, so I appreciate your affirmative words. 🥰It's great hearing from you. 💙

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