Tuscazoar 100 #38

Wow, I’m sitting to write this and am just so relieved and happy to have finished this course!

Tuscazoar 100 is located at a charming boyscout camp in Dover Ohio, where they tap the trees and market their own maple syrup! The race on paper looks moderately challenging and fun, there’s a little bit of everything for every runner. Rolling moderate technical single track, lightly graveled flat towpath, pine covered steep descents and climbs, paved sidewalk through town. Whatever your expertise, you have a chance to do your best and stay entertained by the variety of the terrain. In theory. Because it's held Labor Day weekend, chances are you’re going to be running in heat and humidity, and with most of the elevation gain happening the last 10 miles of each 25 (closer to 26) mile loops, both the flat sections and the hills have the opportunity to push your body and mind to the limit!

I first ran this race in 2019, as my 5th 100. It was only a year and a half after Dexter had taken his life and I was still wracked with grief. When I came very close to a DNF, the race director, Jeremey Followay, ran 3 miles out to meet me at the last aid station, took my pack and like a slave driver made me run as fast as a 9-minute downhill to finish with 10 minutes to spare. I was so touched by his act of caring and service that it became a pivotal point in my grief and survival. I felt Dexter strongly after that race, telling me that I had run enough for him and that now we should run together to help someone else. So, it was after Tuscazoar 2019 that I began running with Wear Blue and 22 Too Many. Pic of me and Jeremey with this amazing angelic light. <3

The year of Covid I finished just after the last cutoff, and last year I had to drop this race at 50 miles because I had a lot of knee pain, which ended up with me having the partial knee replacement. Still, getting to know the guys who run this race, and so many other runners out in Ohio which are just the kindest, friendliest people, this race feels like a family party, so I am going to attempt it every year I can even though it's very tough! I love everyone and everything about this race!

3 weeks out from Ute I felt mostly confident in finishing this course, because the climbs are so much tamer and I figured the flats would be easier for me this year, but I had a hip injury after running Ute. For the last 3 weeks I mostly stuck to the elliptical and spent a lot of time with the massage gun and in the hot tub trying to get my hip to heal up adequately. With Grindstone 100 looming 2 weeks ahead of Tuscazoar, I had a goal to finish but not push myself to the point of reinjury. My 3 goals of this race were to not finish last, to not throw up, and to not make Jeremey come out and save my butt again. I accomplished 2/3 lol.

We came out a day early to help volunteer. Jason had found us a basement apartment for the weekend at a nearby farm. Even though it smelled like mothballs, it was very nice to have a kitchen and couch and lots of space to spread out all my race stuff and get organized. We did some last-minute race shopping and relaxed Thursday night, got to bed early for a solid 9 hrs. of sleep.

On Friday we woke up early and headed out to Tuscazoar and got there by 7:30. It was great because we were early enough to catch Arlen Glick, local running hero! He’s the nicest young man, from a Mennonite family in Ohio, who showed up at Western States and amidst all these pro elite runners, stormed the course and won 3rd place! So basically the 3rd fastest male runner in the US right now…but he comes out to Tuscazoar and trains, helps mark the course and has taken time to chat with me and other no name runners out on the course, popped blisters, helped crew…anyway, just loved that we got to chat with him and the other RDs and got a pic with him. Go Arlen!

Helped mostly getting bibs labeled and organized for the race which was perfect because I could stay off my feet and rest but still help out, and I worked a bit with packet pickup. It was roasting hot by midafternoon, and I was seriously worrying about what the heat was gonna do to my race time. So much fun meeting all my Ohio running friends who came to run various distances, the race has a 25-, 50-, 75- and 100-mile race you can sign up for.

I was on my phone with a friend who thought maybe she could come out to pace me overnight, when one of the RDs I didn’t know well. John, offered to pace me for a loop if I couldn’t find anyone. I had my friend Carol who helps run the “wedding” aid station who was going to pace my last loop, but I was probably going to be alone all night, usually my slowest loop. We’d met before but I didn’t know him like I know Jeremey and Eric, like he said, he’s the “quiet one”…hah! I wasn’t sure… 25 miles with someone you don’t know pacing can be a risky venture, but I told him I’d take him up on it. That ended up being the best thing I could have done for this race <3

Jason & I met a guy name Ted when we volunteered up at Vermont 100 in August, who drove down to run with me. It was his 2nd attempt at doing 100 miles, so I was hoping I’d be able to help him out. It was fun to meet up and discuss the race and strategize a little bit. Had a lot of fun but cut out early to get some dinner and hydrate, and get to bed before 9 for a 6am start.

My friend Susan, Ted and I lined up together at the start and I had a ton of fun chatting with them for the first 3 miles or so.

We just kept a comfortable pace and it felt so great to be trail running again! It was 70 degrees out and very muggy for a dark 6 am start, and I was sweating heavily after just a few miles. When we opened out of the woods for 2 flat miles along a grassy towpath, Ted and Susan were much faster than I was and I told Ted to not worry about me, to just go his own pace and he’d be fine. They took off and I just zoned out and tried to keep as best pace as I could without going out too fast. I had Jason lined up to help crew Ted since he was at the race alone. When the sun came up, the temperature didn’t get warmer immediately but the towpath from our first aid station out to the little town of Zoar was unbearably humid! 110% humidity I swear. My heart rate was really high, and I was barely able to keep it just under a 13-minute mile which felt very slow for this course and a flat path. It was hard breathing and what I thought would be a fun early morning loop turned into an ordeal. Because I was sweating so much, I knew I’d risk heat illness if I pushed too hard, so I really kept an eye on my heart rate and just tried to ignore that I was falling behind most all the 100-mile runners. I knew I’d be stronger on the climbs, so I just tried to relax into it, many miles to go. For as much fun as I had at Ute 100, this was the opposite. I had a hard time enjoying anything on this first loop because it was so humid. I was as wet as if I’d jumped in the river and already wanted ice! I started pouring water over my head and down my back as early as mile 15. Early on at the aid stations I had some bacon and cheese quesadillas but mostly stuck to a bit of candy, chocolate gu's and Nesquik & apple juice in my drop bags, + Gatorade electrolytes at the aid stations, supplementing liquid IV and salt caps. I felt a bit nauseous in those first 10 miles and that’s never happened in an ultra before!

Terrifying clown mask in the tunnel, lol.

When I got around to the aid station at 18/22 miles the girls there who I adore, Rachel and Carol, had some cold Nesquik in their stash for me and some apple juice. They also dumped a pitcher of ice down my back. That made a HUGE difference at 22 miles. I felt my body temp cool back down and with it got some good energy, so I finished the first loop feeling strong. Sadly, my friend Susan was sick after the first loop and had to drop out. It took me about 7:25 to finish loop 1, just under 26 miles. Jason was there to help me cool down and get re-set. I got a hat and ice, lots of hydration and headed out for the second loop.

It was still hot and muggy, but it felt like the humidity had cleared out a little bit, so the miles in the forest weren’t as bad but had to keep a moderate pace. I had my hip all taped up to try and prevent more injury and had to be cautious on the downs. I had some rotating niggles, first my knee replacement, then my other knee, then my hip, then my feet, then my lower back. Just weird pains that would come and go and I just ignored them all till my brain moved on and sent me endorphins instead of pain signals, lol. The course and trails through the woods were beautiful, but the air was so stagnant and humid it was hard to find the trails enjoyable. Showing up at the aid stations and cheering on other runners, seeing people really pushing themselves, that was more the focus of the joy I felt out there. Listened to music, prayed for help to fuel and hydrate well. I knew if I didn’t execute things just about perfectly, I wasn’t going to meet the tight cutoff. Just under 104 miles in 32 hours…tight for me for a trail race.

squatting bob

I finished the second loop sometime around probably 10:30 pm. I’d finally caught up with Ted sometime before the second loop was done and tried to help him troubleshoot some nausea and exhaustion with caffeine and ginger pills. He was still moving well. We ran a lot of that loop together. I was drinking ginger ale at the aid stations, fueling on my Nesquik and apple juice, but at the wedding aid station we had some tater tots with ketchup and salt that tasted glorious. I was very happy my stomach tolerated it! I was doing the final downhills of that loop slow with some hip pain so I sent Ted ahead of me by a few minutes so Jason could get him taken care of before I rolled into the aid station. I had a cup of chicken noodle soup which was just absolutely the perfect fuel after a day of sweet drinks and was still needing ice. The sun was long gone but the humidity was holding on. There was supposed to be rain rolling in overnight and I kept wishing for it to cool things off, because the pre-storm humidity was stifling. I had to take off my knee braces because they were chafing and causing skin rashes being soaking wet, and I swapped out socks at the same time and put some arthritis cream on my feet. Just that bit of change felt refreshing. Also hit the bathroom to run voltarin cream on my hip and trashed quads. Felt so much better after that. Started loop 3 with Ted & I don’t remember when, but at some point, I was going too slow so I told him to move on ahead and I would catch up to him. John had been out at his son’s soccer game but when he got back to the race, he ran out to meet me and we ran the 52–77-mile loop together. I never caught up with Ted, not realizing we passed him somewhere along the way.

I had to laugh because John had described himself as “the quiet one” but he was so chatty! We ran together for hours, and I had such a good time. He was a good talker but also, he pushed me hard, and was so encouraging. He was such a great cheerleader. He is a fast runner with long legs, and I really had to focus to try and keep up with him. I hit a few low points through the night where I had to stop talking and just crank up my Sabaton tunes and really dig deep to keep up with him. Had a few quiet tears over how tired I was. Felt a strong feeling of friendship for my buddy Nate whose pic I always carry in my pack, just as John pointed out some deer to me in the forest. Jason met us at the Zoar aid station with some chicken noodle soup and some choco milk and encouragement. I wasn't feeling too hot.

We met Carol at mile 73ish. My batteries had dimmed in my headlamp so some of those miles were too slow because I couldn’t see well. I was feeling pretty nauseous and had already taken some Zofran, but had a quiet reminder in the back of my mind from Sgt Jacob, Rosie, you’ve got ginger tabs, take them. Duh! I swallowed down a couple of those and sucked on some ginger candy and my stomach settled down. I thought I was dehydrated because I was starting to pee every 20 minutes. John thought maybe I was over hydrating and suggested I lay off the fluids for a bit. I did for about an hour and that settled down. It came and went the rest of the race and I really had to try and struggle to find the balance of hydration and fuel which was really just a guessing game at that point, for how hot and wet everything had been!! The girls at the Wedding AS got me new batteries and we finished that loop strong. John led us in, and Carol ran behind so I could use her light too, to give us a nice bright trail. I dont remember exactly but I think that loop was actually my fastest! Met Jason there for the last loop. Because we’d passed Ted in the night and being out all alone in the dark, knowing he’d fallen behind me, he gave up and dropped out around mile 70. I felt badly, I wish he’d stuck with me! All day I was getting passed by faster 100-mile runners, but it turned out more than half of them dropped out of the race by 60-75 miles because of the heat & wet humidity. Starting my last loop, I think I was the last 100-mile runner standing. When I met Jason, I got rid of my hinged brace. I had some heat rashes and chafing and was exhausted, but my stomach was still strong. I ate some more chicken noodle soup and orange juice that Eric had picked up just for me. So thoughtful! The sky finally opened up & it was pouring down torrential rain. I had to get a poncho and hat on, refresh my batteries and Carol & I took off in the rain. We had to be careful not to slip on the wet rocks and I tripped hard a couple times, but finally the air was cool and refreshing and I was totally fine with the rain. Carol is so fun and bright and cheerful and passionately positive, the miles felt like they flew by. She held my poles every time I had to deal with technical issues, getting out salt tabs or whatever, but mostly she ran just ahead of me and kept me moving, talking and distracted. She’s such a special friend and I feel so grateful for all the hours we got to share out there! I think I hit my real low point around 9am when Jason met us at the Zoar aid station. I knew I was cutting things too close to the cutoff, and it hit me that I was probably not going fast enough to finish in time. I told Jason what a fun time I was having chatting with Carol but that I was worried I was going too slow. He told me to stop talking and focus on running and moving fast. I was crying when I left the AS. I was in a bit of despair that I wouldn’t make it. Carol and I kicked up the gears and got in a few 13-minute miles, but when we hit the towpath again, the rain had turned 2 miles of soft trail into big messy mud puddles. At this point I just ran through them the best I could and tried not to fall. My feet felt all warped, my hands were pruny and rashy from the rain and holding poles. When we hit the backside trails, I felt a little more encouraged because the trails weren’t really too wet or slippery, but the wedding 4-mile loop was full of slick muddy grass and the time was just slipping away. I reached that point where I knew I could finish the 100 miles on the course, but I didn’t think I was going to make the 32-hour cutoff. At some point Ms. Nicest of the nice, Carol, tried to be a forceful mean pacer and told me to stop talking and crush up the hill, that I was gonna finish cuz I was “Rosie F’ing Gagnon and I don’t quit” or something like that. It was adorable, and effective, lol. I felt like we really worked hard over that treacherous slippery ground. When we rolled into the wedding aid station for the last time I smashed the wedding aid station cake meant for the DFL runner, aka “dead f-ing last”. Which was me. I was not going to be that person again, and there I was, again. :sigh:

I thought maybe I had a chance to pull in the final miles, but I didn’t know. It was early afternoon, and the forest was getting warm and muggy, not a bit of wind to cool things off. I asked her to call Jason and let him know how things were going.

Back at the finish Jason was asking for someone to come out and push me to the finish. He knew I’d only push so hard and needed some real pressure to dig deep so somehow, he grabbed John again who dropped whatever it was that he was busy doing, and suddenly with 3 miles to go, there was John. He called out to me and told me to hurry because we had to do 15 minute miles to make the final cutoff. I really didn’t know how I could pull it off, I was so hot and exhausted, starting to feel nauseous and lightheaded but I just tried to shut my mind off and follow his feet, and listen when he told me to push faster. He was so amazing. Like, every 10th of a mile I would think, there’s no way I can do this in time. He’d stop and turn around and tell me “you’ve got this, you are going to do it!” “Don’t worry, you are going to make it!” These 2 voices in my head, and I swear I felt other voices, “Do this for my mamma “(LCPL Crewson} “Suck it up, no excuses” (SSgt Wilson)

I prayed with all I had for help to finish and we ran. The last mile I started getting super nauseous and I knew if I threw up I'd just have to run through it. Then I started getting dizzy and the world started spinning, and I felt like I was gonna black out but I kept running. With about a mile left Jason ran out and was running in front of me too, they were both encouraging me and I just pushed as hard as I could, following Jason & listening to John. We hit the last steep little climb which felt like an insurmountable mountain. I felt like a drunk staggering up that hill climb with my head spinning, had this weird feeling that I had these arms all around me ready to catch me if I fell. I didn’t fall. We crested the hill and I handed my poles to John and started to sprint as fast as I could to the finish. John ran right beside me “4 minutes, you can do this! 3 minutes, you can do this! Just down this hill and around the corner, you’ve got this! You’re gonna do it!" I ran with all I had.

My favorite 2 pics from this whole race is John running right with me through the finish line saying “you did it with 2 minutes to spare!” and collapsing onto Eric as he met me through the finish with my buckle.

Its strange, I didn't really feel Dexter much at all during this run, but when I finished and laid on the ground so I wouldn't black out, I just covered my face and cried because I suddenly just felt his warm love and that he was so proud of me. I didn't want to get up. I just laid there covering my face and thanked God for helping me finish and for letting Dexter be there with me.

When I finally gathered my composure and the world stopped spinning, Jason helped me up into a chair and there was LCpl Jakes mamma, Jennifer. As far as I was concerned the whole world disappeared and I was just so grateful to see her and feel my heart ache for her loss. With us moms who've lost our sons, I swear there is an instant eternal connection. Somehow our sons bring our lives together and we are meant to support each other while we grieve and miss our boys. She is so special, and I just cried and we hugged, and I told her how incredibly sorry I was for her loss. So much pain, and yet so much beauty. She gave me a beautiful gift box with treasures representing each of our sons and the other Marines. We got to talk for a little while before she had to go.

I was pretty much a zombie, so we planned to meet her again in November when I come out to Ohio. for Whispering Grace 100. All the miles, training, blisters, rashes, tears and aches...everything is worth it for that special moment when you feel like maybe something you've done has made a difference in the life of a hero's mother. I'm so so grateful for the opportunity that began here at Tuscazoar, to see the desire to serve come to fruition, to be able to lift where I stand and have Dexter's life help make a difference to someone.

After the race I just loved a dip in the post-race hot tub. Was completely exhausted and every muscle in my body hurt, I had a mild heat rash over most of my body and quite a bit of chafing, especially around the areas I had taped to prevent chafing lol. Luckily none of it bothered me until after the finish. Love this pic, Jeremey is still my hero!

I had to nap for 4-5 hours to let my stomach settle down, but I never did throw up! I managed to wake up for a little while at our apartment and Jason made me a bacon salad which I fell asleep eating. I'd never post this on social media for but for my special friends who care about reading my race reports, this is a picture of a completely and fully wrecked ultra runner, LOL!

Jason managed to get us all packed up and drove home. I slept for a full 36+ hours only waking up to post a few things on facebook while Id eat & drink, then went back to sleep. trying to rest and the our hot tub feels wonderful on my very painful aching muscles. Its too soon to tell how my hip managed the race. I know it didnt get worse, at least. This is going to be very focused rest & recovery because a week from Friday I have the most important race of the year, Grindstone 100. 23,000 elevation gain, 38 hr cutoff. Hardrock qualifier. I'm feeling like everything I've learned in the last 3 races of my personal 'grand slam' will help me get to that finish.

I'm grateful that at the start of National Suicide Month, that I was able to run and finish this tough 100-mile race in honor and memory of Dexter, Jake, Jacob and Taylor & Nate and pray their heroic lives and struggles will help raise awareness, that more lives may be saved and more help given to those who suffer from the terrible diseases of ptsd, depression, mental illness, addiction, and suicide.