I trained all winter to run my first 100 miler, the C&O Canal, in April. I was pretty well on track, until Dexter (my 23 year old son) died by suicide on Feb 25, after suffering a steep decline of mental health, diagnosed both type 1 bipolar and schizophrenia. It was emotionally devastating. I thought I never wanted to run again, Some days I didn't even want to live. At the same time, running was my best grief outlet. I could run in the dark and cry and pray, and it began to be healing. I lost a few weeks of training, and not being as well prepared as I should have been with fueling and hydration, I had to DNF at 60 miles on the C&O canal after a bout of severe vomiting. I regretted in the next day and wished Id pushed through, so after about a week recovery I decided to treat that as a training run and find another 100. Lighthouse 100 sold me on the views, with great temps, and I'm not afraid of a road ultra because I do a lot of road running at home. That gave me roughly 3 weeks to finish up training -mainly lots of hills to strengthen my quads- and 1 week to taper. My quads were trashed after the 60 dnf, so I focused on hills, elevation, and solid running on pavement. I felt like I was sufficiently physically prepared but I had a lot of fear, knowing how much just going 60 miles had hurt my body...but I was determined to finish for myself and in honor of my son. Traverse City & Lake Michigan was gorgeous and it got me psyched to run. I did a LOT of praying in the weeks before, over my knees, ankles, feet, hips...any time I had what felt could be an injury or niggle, I prayed and prayed, knew everything had to be as healthy as possible to go the distance. My husband Jason, a daughter Hannah and 2 youngest sons, Adam and Peter, made the trip with me to crew. We kept telling each other that I was not allowed to quit and they were not allowed to let me in the car until I finished! Having their belief and support was a huge part of what kept me pushing through to the end. The first 1/4 of the race had breathtaking views of the lake, the weather was in the mid 60s with a comfortable breeze and I felt I could run all day. Had a nice chat with another runner for about 5 miles and I was just happy to be out there. Most of the run I had an ongoing dialogue with God, or with my son Dexter, just talking out loud, praying over things that might have been a concern, when a joint would start to hurt, niggle in the knee etc. It was a very soul cleansing experience and I felt really strong until I tackled the 2 mile(??) steep hill leading up to the mile 26 aid station. Coming down that hill was a strain on the quads and they mildly complained for the rest of the race. Mile 30 -44 was a challenge. 14 miles, inland, nice views of rolling hills and farmland, but I get those views at home so it wasn't distracting from the discomfort of zero shade, tired legs, and solid sun beating down. Thank goodness there was a nice breeze that kept things comfortable. There was no bathroom at the 26 mile aid station so I had to make a stop at Burger King, (flushing toilet, clean hands!) Got an ice cold diet dr pepper which really boosted my mood and gave me a good burst of energy. I did a 3-4 week caffeine fast so that I could utilize it during the race and it was amazing. Fueling to this point was a homemade nut/chocolate/fruit bar every 5 miles, and a pb and jelly sandwich, banana and chips at each aid station. Those prepackaged PB&J were delicious, haha. Also hummus on tortilla...sooo yummy! I took 2 salt tabs and 2 potassium tabs, plus either a tums or pepto bismal tablet a mile out of each aid station to make sure my stomach was settled, I also drank a high sodium and potassium electrolyte drink, 5 oz every 2 miles, and about 10-20 oz of plain water at each aid station....during the heat of the day, several other crewing cars stopped along the road and offered water, which was so refreshing!! I was so grateful! Sometime after the 40 mile mark we finally got some shade and that was a huge relief. I ran slowly but I rarely walked, I felt like it took more muscle power to walk that just be in robot running mode. My super awesome daughter Hannah got out of the car a little after 50 miles and walked/ran 8 with me. That was so much fun, we sang and laughed and talked. It was awesome. Having the family drive by and honk & wave, refill bottles, jump out and walk a mile with me etc through this stretch of the late afternoon was really mood lifting and kept me laughing. Love them so much! I was feeling great as I approached the 58 mile (??) aid station, close to my last DNF mileage, and I was feeling really strong so I felt confident I could keep going and finish.... Then, I pulled a muscle in my front right hip which made it very painful to go uphill or downhill, so I literally grabbed onto my spandex pants and used my arms to pick up my legs to keep moving forward. Was happy to see my family at that aid station, they took off my socks and lubed up my feet, put on fresh long compression socks, made sure I was well stocked and set. I can't say enough for the flushing toilet and a place to wash my hands in the house! I started getting sick of the fruit bars I'd brought by that point so I stuffed my remaining space with gummy candies. I probably hit my darkest time (literally) after 65 miles. Jason took the boys up to Petoskey Mi which was a 40 minute drive, to check into our hotel at the finish line and drop the boys off for the night, he was going to meet me at 72 miles to start pacing me while my daughter Hannah met us at each of the next aid stations. I forgot to pick up my headlamps from them at mile 58. It started getting dark a couple hrs later and they were still 40 minutes away to come back and drop off my lamps. I started feeling stressed and exhausted, worrying I'd get disqualified for not having my nighttime lights on. I turned on my phone flashlight after the sun was solidly down and faced it forward, kept to the side of the road, but it got dark very fast after that. The family was having a hard time finding me on the road and I felt pretty demoralized running in the dark. Luckily there was little to zero traffic along that stretch and it was quite beautiful under the deep dark turquoise sky. Another crewing car stopped and asked if I was ok, offered to give me a dollar store flashlight, which was so kind...but as they drove off I heard the woman driver clearly say “she is so stupid” and I burst into tears, and was sortof choking and sobbing as my family pulled up about 5 minutes later. I thought it was sooo mean and demoralizing, but they did give me an extra light so I was thankful for that. This was probably my longest stop of the night. I couldn't lift my legs at all, my family had to basically boost me up into the car, where they stripped off my socks, popped blisters, refilled my food and water, I don't even remember what else, I just fired off a list of what I needed and they got it all...also had the joy of running this on my period so my family also had to help restock those supplies, and make sure I had PLENTY of lube. Having to wear a pad and tampons was pretty sucky – but in later hours of the race after so much pounding, I literally lost all bladder control, (I never read about that in ultra how-to blogs! Haha!) Thankfully I had plenty of pads, and plenty of lube, haha!!! If I didnt stop to pee the second I had to pee, it was all over. Lost a few bottles of water cleaning up... TMI, but ya know, the realities of ultra running is that it is freaking hard on your body. My poor kids, they had way too many TMI moments...but I think they still love me and respect me, ha. Even though I was eating loads of carbs and candy, I made sure to eat oranges whenever I could because I knew at some point that food would come back to haunt me, thankfully not in diarrhea, and it all held off till I finished the race. :-P I left that meetup with my family in the dark at 70 miles (I thought was about 67 miles because runkeeper sucks) feeling pretty beat and I was barely shuffling my feet. I had my sweet husband give me a priesthood blessing because he is an Elder in the LDS Church. He laid his hands on my head before we startee and prayed that if I would persevere, the Lord would help me cross that finish line. At this point my right hip muscle hurt so much, I could barely propel my right leg forward. Jason put on his gear and started the nighttime pacing with me at that point, earlier than I expected, but I was grateful, I needed the company and motivation to go forward. I was so happy, we hit the next aid station, 72 miles, 2 ahead of where I thought I was! I felt giddy! My hip miraculously numbed out and I started to make good forward progression. My family had brought me a Burger King whopper which was the best tasting hamburger I have ever ever eaten in my life. I think something was in that burger, haha, because at that point I just got kindof wierdly giddy, happy and silly. Laughing at dumb things, singing songs out loud... (I usually reserve that for on the road alone time). I literally sang for 9 freaking hours, except for taking a few breaks when I started getting hoarse and coughing. It was like my forward motion was tied to my mouth. I remember one part I felt like I was drunk or something (I dont drink!) But we were just in front of one runners super bright head lamp and Jason & I started making shadow rabbits and dogs in the light, and it was just so stupidly funny. The moon came out and it was just beautiful. I loved having my sweetheart along with me. I am sure he got sick of me incessantly talking about my fueling, aches and pains etc etc etc. It was the 'all about me' hours. While my 72 mile hamburger was best in my life, 82 mile hamburger at the aid station, worst in my life. Freezing cold and the grease caught in my throat and made me gag. Had to spit it out. The station had been moved and my 19 yr old daughter got lost trying to find where it had been moved to. This station was probably the only real complaint I had about the course, but it worked out and we kept moving on. Charlevoix looked like a cute town and would have been fun to see in the daylight. I was pretty bummed that from mile 80 almost to the finish that there were no really good lake views. I'd been looking forward to it and it was pretty much all trees, but at that point was so close to finishing that I tried not to let it matter. I was happy to be running a paved ultra because I started stumbling on cracks in the pavement, stubbed my toe hard on a root, so if I lose nail, it'll be that one. My whole lower body was solidly aching, but there were no sharp pains so we just kept on with a slow 15-18 minute mile jog. Up to 92 miles was probably the slowest stretch, but we did get a few peeks of sunrise over the lake which was beautiful. I'd taken a caffeine pill at mile 60 and 80 which kept me pretty alert, but about 85 miles I suddenly got sooo tired I started weaving and nodding my eyes and falling asleep while running. Jason held my hand and kept me going forward, I'm pretty sure I nodded off a few minutes at a time, but was still singing, haha. Just a really bizarre disconnect between your brain and your body. Shortly after sunrise hit the 92 mile aid station... lack of easy porta potties and bathrooms was a bit of an issue, but I'm pretty used to just ditching behind a tree so it worked out, but that was a residential neighborhood so I apologize to whoevers yard I was in. Everything was in a blur at that aid station, I just remember seeing 1 staff person who said they got my number, and I grabbed some cold hard pizza and moved on as quick as possible. I gave up electrolytes by then, was sick of the flavor and just wanted water. Jason carried some black licorice candies for me, I was pretty sick of all food at that point so I just ate 2 or 3 at a time as we finished. I could barely move getting up out of that neighborhood and back on to the trail. I really thought we'd be doing the last 8 miles in a death march, we got hit with a downpour and I don't know what happened, but somehow God sparked some energy deep inside and we started back into a 13-14 minute mile pace, which felt incredibly fast to me, haha. My feet and legs were throbbing but we just kept going forward. I was feeling pretty grateful for that relentless sun earlier, because the sunburn on my arms kept me feeling warm even though it was raining pretty hard. We passed a couple people in the final stretch, I thought the last 2 miles would never end. I think the only time I really complained on this course was hitting the half mile of muddy gravel road that was under construction just before the finish. Was just so freaking tired, and then all of a sudden there were my boys at the finish line, they ran up to meet me and crossed the line with me. One of the organizers gave me a hug which I thought was incredibly amazing because I knew how wet and nasty and ripe I probably smelled, but he had such a genuine happy encouraging smile that it was just totally awesome. I very achingly layed on the ground and put my feet up because I was determine to not puke at the finish line. Laid there for about 5 minutes, then went with my kids and put our feet in the lake. (Tradition, had to jump in the lake after my first 50 at Lake Canandigua!) I sadly lost my picture of Dexter somewhere after the finish that I'd carried all 100 miles, but I had some really beautiful moments out alone on the road where I felt my son close and felt that he was proud of me and was running some of the miles with me. I am sooo sooo thankful to my family, I am not sure how I would have preserved through some of those miles when I had to pick up my feet by holding my pants, or when I had miles to go before an aid station and needed extra feminine supplies etc. :-P I am mostly grateful to my Heavenly Father, who through the last few months helped me heal emotionally from grief, who guided my training and also helped me heal physically, from small injuries, to giving me the will to push through the pains I experienced on the road. I felt the promised blessings to 'run and not be weary, and walk and not faint'... I didn't faint, I did it. 100 miles. 26.29 hours.
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