Endurance Hunter/Bigfoot 100 #31

Had major anxiety coming into this race. Last year I was in top shape and crushed it at 30+ hours, but after knee surgery I wasn't confident that I could handle the steep climbs and crushing technical downhills. Was determined to do my best but also went in with caution, because the last thing I want is a prosthetic failure out in some remote area! Also I have many more races to come so longevity at this point is more important to me than placing in any one race. Endurance Hunter begins in the beautiful area of Blue Ridge Georgia. I get a big kick out of this being Bigfoot territory. Sadly the museum was closed when we arrived but we stopped for a photo op and took note that the bulk of the race takes place through the 2 big sighting areas (left & right)My kids and I have always had a running joke /interest in cryptozoology so bigfoot territory is cool!

I was really concerned with the weather. It was looking like snow and mid 40s with a freeze overnight & of course its gonna be colder up in the mountains especially along the ridge line. The weather did not disappoint. I carefully prepared for very cold conditions and it was good I did because many runners in this race ended up dropping from hypothermia. After I ran Blackbeard a little overweight and got horrible chafing I switched to a low carb diet and lost a quick 8 pounds before this race. For my pre race carb load I just wanted ice cream for dinner haha. I ate more than half of this haha! Just for fun I also lost a filling and had a bad toothache through the race.

It was a good time having Peter traveling with us to help crew. We met my son Isaac and his wife & baby for all you can eat Chinese in Atlanta before the race and that was alot of fun. Worth the drive to see my baby and his baby. 💙💙💙

Took some sleep aid OTC medicine and got a full 9 hrs sleep which was hugely important, despite being out for 37 hrs I never got sleepy on the trail. The early morning weather was cold but manageable and I figured with a jacket, hat, gloves and body & hand warmer I was dressed just right for the miles in the cold. I was thinking how blessed I was to be at this start line. Also grateful Jason was there to support me! The race only allowed 4 separate gallon sized drop bags for each aid station, I don't know how runners without crew would handle that especially with river crossings and cold weather. I use 3 boxes full of stuff in the car lol. The 2 ziplocks are drop bags, the rest is all junk I need! Some pre-race pics. Jason said a guy apologized to him and said he wasn't taking a pic of his wife's butt. He said he was actually getting a photo of my pack, when he thought Jason scowled at him lol. We saw a runner having a group prayer circle with his crew and that was really neat, made me think of my invisible crew that I think is probably all around when we had our pre race prayer. <3

We heard literally 100 trees were blown down on the trail which I was not excited about, it ended up being worse than I imagined, but we'll get to that later! Starting out I did a quick couple 10 minute miles on the road until we hit 3 miles of rotting railroad track. I fell to the back third of the pack because I didn't want to risk tripping, good call because about a mile along the tracks I did trip and fall, luckily didn't hurt my knee but I had to accept I was going to have to be slow and cautious because one wrong fall could ruin me. Jogged along the heavy gravel & rotting wood with a guy named Adam. He was really chatty so after we finished the tracks I bowed out for a potty break so I could run alone again. No offense to him, he was perfectly pleasant just I find I slow significantly when carrying on a conversation. We had 3 miles or so of uphill road running after the tracks so I power hiked all the hills. I had a slight knee strain so I had to sadly not crush the downhills which I love. It definitely adds minutes on my time. 😐

First aid station I was excited to see Melissa and Hunter who help run the race. They were so sweet and treat me like I'm family. They are amazing and I enjoyed being back to support their race. No hot food so I grabbed some prepackaged chips and cookies. Right at this 8 miles AS was the first mental & physical hurdle of the race. The log bridge which was there last year was out, so we had to ford the river. One guy appeared to have fallen and was looking for some place to dry his socks. I thought...man, hes not gonna finish. 3 young guys were sitting by the river taking off their socks and shoes. Knowing this was the first of at least 12 major creek/ river crossings I just plowed through it. The water was shockingly cold and swift, I felt very unsteady and I was grateful I had my poles! I heard the water had knocked another lady off her feet and she had to drop the race. I felt proud of myself for not hesitating at the rivers edge. I really think this race needs to put up safety ropes for river crossings. :-/ A song Isaac sent me was playing while I crossed at it was a huge mental boost. 🤗

"These trails make us who we are, who we are. We're motivated by the scars that we're made of"

I spent a few miles climbing technical steeper terrain reflecting on my scars, and while I wish I didn't have them, they have made me who I am, and I'm proud that I've been able to bear the pain of them.

The next 13.6 miles was an adventure. You just cant capture the views or the wild beauty on camera. There was huge uphill climbing to the ridge top where it was snowing with blowing wind. I was borderline cold especially with wet cold shoes & socks but fortunately I had lots of energy so I could move to stay warm. Also the snow while heavy at times was very dry & it bounced off my coat, so overall I was warmer than if it has been raining. Partway through these miles one guy had quit and was walking back to the aid station. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt! Overconfident!!...40s on the top of a mountain is not the same as running at home in the 40s. At least he was smart enough to go back, being under prepared. It felt like November- December. I thought it was colder than my Soldier of Heaven run in February~!I really loved listening to Sabaton in this stretch, I was mostly running alone and singing out loud. Remembering heroic battles in history out in the cold wilderness added a depth to the music and stories. I felt grateful for brave soldiers and in turn felt the need to pray for the Ukrainians who began fighting this unjust winter war in February. I also prayed for our friend Mark who flew from Alaska to join their fight for freedom. I felt very moved by that. I was carrying the Ukraine flag for solidarity. 💙💛🇺🇦 I pray that freedom loving democracies will stand with them better than they (we!) currently are. Blooming through the snow was a million purple spring violets. My moms favorite color and flower. I felt her a lot along that mountaintop!

Got to the 2nd aid station so relieved I'd made it thru the mountaintop weather & crucible! For some reason the volunteers were crabby so that was a big drag in my motivation. I asked if they had any hot food so they pointed me to some cold salty potatoes, then offered a hot quesadilla off the grill to a lady standing next to me. I thought that was really wierd lol so I ditched that AS pretty quick. The next section had some beautiful mountain roads with evergreen trees and a swift river, I breezed through it pretty quickly, an 8.4 mile stretch. I saw a big Great Pyrenees dog and it made me think of my good friend Sally and her new GP puppy, a big white ball of fluff-puppy/grief therapy, the sweetest thing ever, and that she'd be marking her brother Nates death this month. The clouds broke and a soft warm sun shone on my face. I thought of the winter of our grief and the hope we have that eternal spring will come and we will be with our loved ones again. I found a heart rock along that stretch and figured that had to be from Nate for his sister. <3

At the 3rd Aid station I met Hunter and he set me up with a glazed donut and chocolate which was great. I cant usually eat it because my body melts it into a sticky mess, but it was nice and crisp and a big mood lifter! Plus early enough that it tasted delicious!

Hunter warned me the next 10 miles would be the rivers/ fallen tree section, he said at least 100 trees were down and he was not exaggerating! Elevation - technical wise this would be a fun section to run. I really didn't mind the river crossings too much, there were probably 8 that had to be forced through, but I got a little angry at the trees down. I definitely understand tree trunks being too difficult to clear out, but having entire trees with all their branches in the trail, if I was the RD I would have gone out the day before with a crew and cut away all the smaller branches. Pushing through trees basically my legs for all scraped up and I lost at least an hour in this section. The worst was fording a river and climbing through a fallen tree ....in the middle of the river. 😜 Was kindof ridiculous.

100 of these, either huge fallen trunks to climb through, or a tangle of branches, and the undergrowth of the surrounding forest mostly doesn't allow you to go around at all.

There is one particular river crossing that I remembered from last year, it's rather swift and deep and a few feet from a drop off. It's not a huge waterfall but if you slipped you'd be carried over the edge and down a ways. I felt a ton of anxiety after my fall down a waterfall 3 weeks ago! Most races I've been in I think the race staff would have up a rope or something to help across for safety. Luckily there was a fallen tree halfway across that I was able to quickly grab just as it got super deep and I risked losing my balance. I just took a deep breath and prayed for my angels to hold me from falling, and toughed it out. When I got to the other side my heart flooded with this warm feeling and in minds eye I I got the most powerful image of Sgt Taylors big grin and felt the words 'great job, you didn't wuss out!' Man, I can't express how good that made me felt. When I think of Taylor I usually get this drill sergeant feeling, to toughen up. It was such a feeling of encouragement that I confidently pushed thru the rest of the fallen tree / water miles with a light happy bada$$ heart. 🤗

Took me 12 hours from the start and a very long painful descent on a gravel road to finally meet up with Jason and Peter at mile 40. I knew I'd need to prep for the night miles and it was already close to sunset. I was behind 2 hrs from last year but the trees and caution I just had to accept and push for cutoffs. This was the best aid station at the course because they had chairs out, loads of food and most importantly portable heaters! Plus, the porta potty had both baby wipes, and female supplies! phew! I'd purchased a pair of backup dry speedgoats and they arrived the day before we left, but I bought the wrong size! So, no good change of trail shoes. I took off my wet socks and lubed my trench foot feet, put on dry socks and wet shoes back on. Jason and Peter were super efficient restocking my electrolytes, stuffing food in my pack, getting me pain cream & lube etc. I did feel refreshed and luckily the soggy wet skin popped my blisters at this point for me. 😜 Switched out hat & gloves, new hot hands & put on my puffy warm coat. I found it at a thrift store right after my mom died and I ran 100 in her memory. I swear she helped me find it, my shopping guardian angel, lol, its gotten me through some cold races!

Peter walked a mile up the road with me while I ate a hot cup o noodles he'd prepared for me. The benefit of a having to wear a coat is lots of pockets. This next stretch was a long 15 miles so I had to carry alot of fuel. My pockets were full of meal drinks, applesauce tubes, and Capri suns. 15 miles but it was all fairly runnable. Got to see a beautiful sunset from the ridge and turn back a 100 k runner who had gone a mile the wrong way ( bad signage) then descended into the darkening forest.

I had to climb back up the steep gravel road I'd just descended so I took a brief moment before dark to check my messages. I had a video call from Hannah and my adorable Ellie. They said "hi Grandma, and we're cheering for you" &...I didnt realize till afterwards that Ellie said "I love you Grandma" The first time she's said I love you! So special! :-D Melt my heart!

I got a text from my former bishop Jason Wright, too. He'd found a text exchange with Dexter about the Washington DC temple painting Dexter had done for him. it was just a brief exchange but as soon as I read it, the hymn portion of my playlist started and played "God be with you till we meet again"... A song all Dexter's siblings had sung at his funeral. The timing of that wasn't a coincidence, I felt all kinds of love from my sweet son. The temple closed the week he died and I haven't been able to go back. There is an inscription of it on his headstone because his dream in life was to get his act together and be sealed as an eternal family to his daughter Aurora, and her mother there. Its reopening in a few months and Im so excited. Also open briefly for the public to tour it so if anyone wants to go with...lemme know! It is miraculous to me, when we keep our hearts open to signs from our deceased loved ones, how easily they speak to us. It was a special moment.

It started to get cold but I kept at a good pace and there were no rivers to trudge through so I was pretty comfortable, except I'd accidentally grabbed mittens that needed mending so my thumbs stuck out, annoying and they were cold but it wasn't bad. Adam and I had been joking before my race about seeing Bigfoot and 'not deer' so as the night wore on I freaked myself out a little bit seeing shadows and strange things in the forest. I had to stop looking at the woods and just look at the ground where my lamp lit up. I knew then that I wouldn't hallucinate or see anything spooky that nobody would believe, haha. Before I finished this stretch I passed one guy who'd been miles in front of me. He was nauseous and looked pretty horrible. I stuck with him for a few minutes trying to see if I could help him troubleshoot and offered him some anti nausea meds and a variety of goods I had in my pack, but I think he had given up at that point. I went on ahead and I heard him groaning in misery, said a prayer for him. Hopefully he got rescued! Realizing it was Sunday now I put on my church music playlist and sang to it and prayed for the families of the servicemen I'm running for. There was a bit of moon but the stars were brilliant. Every time I made a pit stop (which was frequently, I was dehydrated and also having female issues) I'd turn off my headlamp and look at the amazing sky and just appreciate how beautiful the moonlight looked filtering through the trees in the woods in the dark, feeling close to God. I was also feeling mildly nauseous, exhausted and crappy so I took that opportunity to remind myself how fortunate I was to be out on this adventure!

The sick dude ended up dropping at the next aid station which was mile 54.5. This put me out as the last runner on the course. Out of the 7 women running I was in third place. Everyone behind me dropped out for various reasons, mostly the cold. Jason met me & they had an aid station in a warm building but no hot food so Jason tried to make me Mac cheese but the water was too cold so it was a soggy watery mess. I drank a full 16 oz liquid IV to get rehydrated and a couple meal drinks & Capri suns, then stuffed my coat pockets with fuel, changed headlamps, rubbed in arthritis cream into my legs & knee and headed for the next stretch. It was pretty easy until about mile 60, then it got ridiculously absurdly hard. why didnt I remember this from last year? Very steep ups and downs, technical rocks & rubble & leaves, more downed trees, several creeks with rocks to hop and at least 4 deeper full river crossings so my feet were gonna get trashed again. I had to go so slow on this technical stuff especially because I fell and sprained my thumb. Luckily didn't hurt anything else but I knew I'd have to be slower to be safe so I was gonna be pushing the cutoff. I still had a 2 hr buffer though. About this time on the course the markings got kinda vague. There were at least 2 river crossings with no clear flagging on the opposite side. I prayed a lot and tried to follow my gut and fortunately found the trail. It probably seemed clear in the daylight but 60 miles at night in an ultra it could have been way marked. I lost several minuted trying to guess where to go. I was feeling pretty discouraged especially after I fell, crossing yet another river and almost in tears at my slow progress wondering how I was going to finish with the most brutal miles ahead of me, when lyrics to a song Isaac sent me broke me down, from Atlas falls,

"Keep moving forward now, keep your head above the clouds, I'm right with you, I will lift you, just hold on! Don't give up now, there's already so much at stake..."

The feelings of strength and love that came to me with those lyrics tore through me and I totally broke down and sobbed but I felt Dexter letting me know he would be with me through this, so once I stopped crying I pushed forward with determination.

Another big cry song Hannah sent me had me breaking down in sobs and with it emotional power.

"I won't give up, no I won't give in,

till I reach the end and then I'll start again...

sometimes we come last but we did our best "

That was the point I knew that no matter what the next 35 miles brought me, I wouldn't give up. Somehow I'd get it done.

Well, Jason and Peter were awake to meet me early around 6am with something like 33 mile's to go. A bridge was out so Jason was speeding to find another way to meet me and rolled a stop sign. Got stopped by a cop but luckily he didn't get a ticket and the cop wished me luck. Haha. He was pretty stressed when I met them because the slowdown put him behind and he didnt have everything ready for me. Peter was on top of his game and got me stocked up for another few hours. I was dreading this section. Gahuti trail at Fort Mountain State Park is a beast. Steep drops and inclines, very rocky & rooty, impossible to get a stride, you just jog along and try not to trip. I thought I'd make better time than last year because the sun was coming up so I'd have daylight, but this was the second time I got lost. A section of trail not clearly marked, I called Jason but there was no cell connection so I kept going down the trail trying to call him. After a mile or so we connected and he checked my tracker and I was on course but I lost a few minutes. thankfully I didnt have to backtrack. . This happened a third time on this section of trail and while I was on track I lost at least 10 minutes each time while he pulled up my race tracker to confirm I was ok. I finished the first Gahuti loop in 4 hrs. Mildly complaining to myself the whole time, except brief exclamations at the beautiful overlooks and waterfall. I was out all alone and stopped for a brief conversation with an older gentleman that looked like a veteran, former runner and we had a few minute conversation about my the race, slowed me down but I felt he needed that conversation. Made it back from that loop by 10:00. I still had 7 hours to make 23 miles, I'd done 26 in 8 and that was through some rough climbing. Knowing the last 8 race miles were smooth easy trails downhill to the finish I calculated I'd finish with 30 minutes to spare. Jason stocked me up with electrolytes and my pockets full of meal drinks applesauce and Capri suns. It was still chilly but I dumped my coat with the sun coming up. Up ahead was the worst climb of the race and a lot of steep technical downhill full of small loose boulders, sand, leaves and grit but timed with the easy parts I was still on track. There was at least one runner I hear, broke his ankle in that section. Going a little too fast down a very steep incline I tripped and went down hard on my prosthetic knee, halfway thru my fall just as my knee was gonna be bent completely to the ground (possibly ripping tendons- it doesn't bend fully since surgery) and my head face planting, I kinda stopped midair. It was like someone grabbed my pack and kept me from falling forward. I quickly pulled my pole in front of me and braced my knee & tipped to the side to protect it. I sat there a minute and expressed so much gratitude for whoever caught me 😭💙 Last weekend we had just watched LDS General Conference and the Prophet, President Nelson had given council to "seek and expect miracles." Id kinda carried those words in my heart through this race. To me that save was absolutely a miracle. I know someone stopped my fall.

I was so grateful that I wasn't injured so I carefully watched every footstep. Put on some hymns and really focused on the trail so I wouldn't fall. Unfortunately because of my extra caution watching the trail I went the wrong way on a poorly marked fork. The trail I was on was clearly defined, the other trail went off to the left with a flag on the opposite side of a grassy patch. Visible, but not if you're watching the ground through the most rubbley technical section of the course. They had " wrong way" signs up throughout the course but unfortunately not there. I went up and down at least 1-2 miles down the trail then came to a fork with no marking. I tried to call Jason but no reception. I went one way crawling through thorny rose vines and a fallen tree but then thought I probably went the wrong way because it was so thick, so I backtracked and tried the other trail but aways down, it also was blocked by a tree. There was no cell reception and I couldn't get through to Jason. So I backtracked and went up the other trail again because it was less overgrown but it still didn't seem right. I was bewildered and couldn't find my way. I was pretty furious, cursing a bit at the race director, "I didn't sign up to run the damn freaking Barkley " as I was trying to push through more fallen trees. About that time I reached a spot where my phone buzzed was finally able to get cell signal. Apparently the official race tracker I was wearing for emergencies had stopped working (ran out of batteries??) so it couldn't locate me, and my watch had stopped tracking me 10 miles previous. Thank heaven I got a signal, another miracle IMHO, I could have been out there a very long time. I had to save my run at 83.3 miles and restart my tracker. The restart sent Jason a link to my location, so he had to pull up a state park map to try and figure out where I was. I kept him on the phone while I tried to find my way back to the course sobbing and crying. I'd gone fairly far and I'd lost an hour and a half at least. I knew by this time I would have missed the last cutoff. My phone signal with Jason cut off the second I spotted the missed flag/ trail. Close call. Jason sketched out how far off I was. I remember reading about a woman hiker that went missing on the AT. They found her body 2 yrs later half a mile from the trail. Kindof scary.

Jason told me the race people, all but my one friend, had packed up and left once they knew Id missed the cutoff. I thought that was kinda screwed up but whatever. I don't have much respect for RD's who don't stick around till all runners are off the course. A lot can happen in a few miles out in the mountains. Jason at this time was so sweet, posting all my updates on FB. I love that he captured this.

I recognized my way now so I just kept moving through the loose dirt/leaves/rubble towards the finish. I was completely out of water and fuel after being lost and it was pretty hot in the sun I felt I was getting dehydrated again. I had a quiet reminder in my heart from Sgt Gray that I had felt last week to stow a spare electrolyte/gel in my pack in case of an emergency. Prayed for water and around the next bend found a small clean waterfall, I drank a full bottle, washed my face, poured water down my back, guzzled down 16 oz, filled both my bottles and that really refreshed me. I had water purification tablets in my pack but I was too exhausted and hot to care, haha. It felt like I ran downhill for miles on a crappy rocky road, to finally the make a turn and hit the toughest climb on the course, up to the mountain top . I hate gels but the electrolyte gel gave me a huge fuel boost so though I struggled up the last big climb I was somewhat steady. I stopped every 200 feet or so to catch my breath. Once I made it to the top it was a quick mile or so to meet Jason & Peter Melissa was still there to pick up my broken tracker and she was so kind & gave me a big hug. I just love her! We talked about some of the weaknesses of this race, one being, extend the cutoff if you're not gonna do crap to clear the trails, and much better trail markings after dark. We talked for a few minutes while I refueled with only 7 miles to go to finish. It was exactly an hour and a half after the final 35 hr cutoff. Roughly the hour and a half that I was lost. I was feeling pretty ripped about that but decided this was my experience to own. It's my 100 miles and so I didn't meet the race deadline which is badly configured for this course anyway, so there was no reason not to bring it in. Got a change into dry shoes & socks, arthritis cream & lube and my stash of food and did the last 7.

I ended up talking to 4 different people who saw my flags & pics and asked why I was running so it was great to have the chance of talking about veteran suicide. I could have hurried but Jason and Peter went to do dinner while I ran my last miles so I just tried to enjoy the scenery and reflect on life and this journey. Of course then my watch died .4 miles before I hit 100 so I had to capture that via runkeeper.

Went out to a road so they could pick me up after their steak dinner lol. My feet were killing me and I was so done, just crawling along. Peter met me and jogged the last half mile or so with me. Jason brought me roses which was so sweet. It was just the 3 of us at my finish line and I thought how blessed am I to have these guys? 🤗

Peter and I struck a bigfoot pose at the finish and decided I'd just need to get myself a bigfoot buckle to mark this 100 which is way cooler than the actual buckle anyway, haha.

This is the post race- in the car, -unbraid my hair -dissapointed but happy but still kinda ticked-nauseous and hungry --completely wiped out face. Haha I'm actually really proud of my stats, this was an elevation PR at 19869 total gain. Not bad for a gimp knee. :-D

I'm just so grateful for my crew of angels who run with me and help me to not give up. They were warriors in life, and I hope and pray by fighting through these miles I can do their warrior spirits the honor they deserve. How I wish every one of them was still with us. Amazing beautiful lives that were cut short by mental health & suicide. I may not win races or even make the cutoffs sometimes, but I feel that finishing 100 miles with these guys is finishing with and for the mightiest warriors of all. <3 <3 <3